war.

faithology:

wake, roll over, put up arms

the onslaught of thoughts bombard my mind’s garrison

i signal a barrage of defensive attacks

promise after promise, verse after verse

nevertheless, the undetected lies disguised as logical trains of thought

find their way to my inner barracks

until it’s too late

it begins to infiltrate and permeate my battle strategies

until i’m left defenseless from within

if You don’t fight for me

i just can’t win

Lament

I want to stay in Your courts
For it is home
Comfort zone
To retreat
And dwell in Your house
To cry out like Hannah
To cry out like Leah
To cry out like Hagar in the wilderness
To cry out like the blood of Abel and Uriah shed on the ground
In Your gates I dance freely but with ashes in my head like David
I desire to dwell in Your courts
So near You see my heart
You would see me scratch and stab my wounds with shards of glass
Penetrating up to my bones
Oh! the excruciating pain!
So close I would see the towering
bottles where You count and put all my tears
So near that I could wrestle with You like Jacob
I won’t let You go until You bless me
Bless me with the desires of Your heart for me
Not wanting what I want but desiring what You want for me
So near that I would determine the things that You want me to do
So close that my eyes would only see all You are
That everything that surrounds me fade away
we would all fade away
Will be found in Your courts
Waiting for the pestilence in my heart to stop
Waiting for You to shut the enemy out
Waiting for that Silence where You’ll speak
And though Your stillness comforts me that You understand
You understand someone Unlovable and Foolish like me
A Traitor, Arrogant, Cheater like me
And has the audacity to come to You
to heal this grieving heart
To You who is after my heart
Hearing the thunder of Your voice will move me
In the wonders of Your Presence
There I am waiting
I’ll be found
Where the floodgates of grace is open and unbound

To the Utmost High I plead
In Your courts
immortals do not die
In You, she humbly comes,
Your princess weeps and bleeds

-F

lalalalala

hmmm wahahahaha

the notes of a trobairitz.: for i am his and he is mine.